Everyone lies. That’s inevitable. Whether it is a small lie or big lie, for some reason we all do it. And for whatever reason, it has become socially acceptable to lie. Most unfortunate. This is not to say that I am perfect and that I do not lie, because I do. However, there are some lies that just get quite irritating to hear. The one that I has been most annoying as of late is when a friend tells another “you deserve better.”
Why does this annoy me? Because sometimes it straight out isn’t true and it adds nothing constructive to a person at all. But lets set up an example for a second before going any further. Lets assume there is a couple who break up, as it happens all the time, and one clearly wrongs the other. It is most predictable that the friends of the couple are going to run to their respective friend and tell them “it’s ok” and more likely than not, “you deserve better” or “he/she doesn’t know what they lost.”
Now whats amusing about the situation is that the friends of the one who wronged the other are going to say those to the one who wronged. It strikes me as odd that after a relationship, the person who made the mistake “deserves better” despite how horrific their actions might have been to end the relationship. It seems that no matter what, friends are always willing to try to justify their friends actions in one way or another.
OK, fine, a lot of people will say that’s what friends are for, to be there for one another, to comfort them, etc. True, but what good does it do to lie to your friend like that. Lets be honest here, chances are that if one of “wronger’s” friend was wronged the same way, they’d be pretty upset and think that whoever wronged them is a scum bag or something along those lines. So now we have a scenario in which friends offer false comfort instead of trying to help their friend face the truth and improve them-self, and where the friend probably wouldn’t be too fond to be in the same situation if they got the shit end of the stick.
So what I’m trying to say is that, before you run off to a friend that just got out of a relation and offer the words of comfort; “you deserve better”, try to assess the situation (not just what your friend is telling you because chances are both parties skew the story a bit) and put yourself in it. Would you be happy if you got the shit end of the stick and you friend was the distributor or the shit? If not, don’t run off saying “you deserve better” because frankly you’d probably wouldn’t think its true. Instead, try telling them “hey, you messed up and here’s why.” Friends help friends, not lie to them.
Posted by psykostudios 